Without you
by Miss P
Summary: When Angela dies, Booth is there to comfort Brennan. But things don’t end up as he had hoped…
1. Chapter 1

**Without you**

_By Miss P_

_Summary: When Angela dies, Booth is there to comfort Brennan. But things don't end up as he had hoped… _

_Part one of three. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bones… _

_OoOoOoO_

**Chapter One**

_OoOoOoO_

Time went by slowly as Brennan nervously paced back and forth through the waiting room. Zach, Hodgins and Angela's father was there too, silently praying the artist would survive. The accident hadn't been stoppable as a car in full speed ran her down at the sidewalk. Angela had been rushed to the hospital in a very bad state and that was six hours ago.

Brennan couldn't be still, she couldn't bear just sitting there, waiting, hoping. She had to do something to take her mind away, she wanted to work, but she didn't want to leave the hospital either. She had always thought her best friend would be around, that Angela was someone who would never leave her, and now everything was at stake. Temperance shivered, there was a huge risk she would loose her best friend. What would she do without Angela? She would be lost without her… crushed…

"Bones," his voice brought her back from her thoughts and she stopped.

"Booth, I thought you were in New York…"

"I was, I took the first flight back as soon as I heard what happened, are you alright?"

Brennan shook her head but didn't say anything. When Booth had called her earlier this day, she's been almost hysterical. Now when the truth had caught up with her and she'd realized what was happening, she'd calmed down to her normal rational self.

"Angela?" Booth asked.

"It's bad, really bad…" Brennan whispered sadly.

"I'm sorry Temperance," Booth gently placed his hand on her arm in a comforting effort.

After what they all thought was an eternity, a doctor entered the waiting room, walking up to the group of three. Brennan hurried up to them with Booth following. She gave the doctor a look, trying to find out what he was going to say. But Brennan had never been good at reading people and failed.

The doctor sighed and started talking. "I'm afraid I have some bad news about Miss Montenegro…" he started and that was all Brennan needed to hear. She already knew, suddenly she saw it in the doctors face. She couldn't move, even though she just wanted to turn and run away.

"We did all we could, but she was too injured internally… I'm sorry…"

Brennan felt like she couldn't breathe. She wanted to talk, to find out all the fact that she so desperately needed, but she couldn't make a sound. She didn't notice the doctor leaving them alone, neither did she notice Booth's protective arm around her shoulders.

Brennan felt her head start to spin, her knees weakened. Before she hit the floor Booth caught her and prevented her from collapsing. He sat down at the bench with Brennan still in his arms. Booth thanked god he had gotten there in time. What if he'd still been in New York now, who would have been there for Bones? There was no way he would let her go through this alone.

"Dr Brennan?" Zach almost whispered her name. Brennan managed to straighten enough to look at him. "I'm so sorry Dr Brennan… Angela was a great friend, to all of us," he said and Brennan was not surprised to see his eyes all watery.

Brennan nodded. "Yes, thank you Zach," she hardly recognized her own voice as she spoke. It sounded so hollow, so far away…

_OoOoOoO_

Brennan was in shock as she let Booth drive her home. She didn't say a word as the car stopped outside her apartment and she let Booth follow her in without protesting. It was like she wasn't there, her mind was somewhere else and she felt so hollow inside. She felt like she'd left her soul at the hospital, left it with Angela as she'd said goodbye…

"Temperance?" Booth's voice was soft as he spoke. "Hey Bones?"

Brennan looked up at him from her position on the sofa. Booth gestured for the furniture. "I could… stay… if you want some company…" he said a bit hesitatingly.

"Thank you Booth… but I…" Brennan's voice trailed off. She shook her head, looking down at her hands.

Booth hesitated before sitting down next to her. "You shouldn't be alone," he whispered. "I'll stay."

Brennan met his look. "Thanks," she whispered.

There was a long silence and finally Booth broke it. "Temperance, it's okay to cry," he said gently touching her arm. "I understand how much it hurts loosing a friend… Bones, you don't have to bottle your feelings up, just let it out, okay?"

Brennan looked at him but remained silent. She took a trembling breath, biting her lower lip hard.

"I'm… I should get some sleep," she mumbled, getting up on her feet quickly. "You don't have to stay… the sofa isn't that comfortable sleeping at you don't have to if you…"

Booth cut her off. "It's fine. Hey I'll be right here if you… uh… need me."

Brennan nodded, walking into her bedroom carefully closing the door behind her.

Booth leaned back, sighing. He still couldn't believe Angela was really gone. She'd been so full of life, always putting a smile on everyone's lips. Booth felt sad, Angela had been one of his friends too, but what hurt him most was the look on Bones face. He knew she was in shock. She knew what had happened but refused to face the truth – that her best friend was gone forever. It was so unfair. Brennan had lost so much in her life, everyone she loved had left her, and now the history repeated itself with Angela. Booth didn't even want to think of what this tragedy would do to Bones. He was afraid she would lock away her heart and never let anyone close again. Booth prayed he would be able to help her open up, before it would be too late…

_OoOoOoO_

_...TBC... _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two **

_OoOoOoOoO _

Booth awoke opening his eyes; he didn't know where he was until he looked around and remembered everything. With a low groan he sat up, Brennan had been right; the sofa wasn't so comfy sleeping at, at least not in a half sitting position.

Suddenly Booth realized something must have woken him. He got up on his feet and tiptoed up to Brennan's room. Careful to not wake her up he slid the door open, he just wanted to see if she was alright.

Brennan wasn't sleeping. Booth could tell by the muffled sobs coming from her. She had her face buried in her pillow, and he could see her body tremble as she cried.

Booth didn't know what to do, should he go to her, or maybe she wanted to be alone, maybe she needed some privacy? As he stood there, listening to her, his heart ached for her. Booth couldn't take it anymore; he couldn't stand seeing her like this without at least trying to help her.

Silently he walked into the darkened room. The bed moved slightly as he sat down on its edge. "It's me," he whispered.

He could see Brennan stiffen, she tried desperately to stop crying but it only made it worse.

"Hey Sweetie," Booth regretted his choice of words. That was what Angela had called her. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

Brennan rolled over, sitting up leaning on her elbow. She looked up at Booth with tears flowing freely from her eyes.

"Don't apologize," she whispered

"Yes, it was stupid; I shouldn't have said that… I…uh…" Booth cut himself off, not knowing what to say anymore.

"I can't believe she's gone, Booth what am I gonna do without Ange? It's not rational, she should have…" Brennan's voice trailed off. She buried her face in her hands. "What am I going to do?" Brennan sobbed out, starting to cry again. She hated herself for being so emotional and weak in Booth's presence, but she just couldn't help it.

"I don't know, I'm so sorry Tempe," Booth said with sympathy. "Hey, come here," he pulled her into his arms, cradling her to his chest. He wasn't sure Brennan would let him hold her, but to his surprise she didn't do anything to pull away. Instead she wrapped her arms around him, crying into his shirt.

Booth didn't say anything; he just held her and let her cry. There was nothing to say that could take away her pain, all he could do now was to be there for her, letting her know she wasn't alone.

_OoOoOoOoO _

The first rays of sunshine slipped through the curtains of the bedroom. Booth's eyes fluttered opened. First he didn't know where he was but almost immediately everything came back to him. He was sitting in the bed, leaning against the head board. His back ached from the odd position he had been sleeping in. Tiredly, Booth looked down at Brennan who was still asleep with her head in his lap. Booth smiled sadly. If this had been under any other circumstances he would have been happy, but right now, his heart ached for her.

Brennan woke up with a start. She sat up; her whole body trembled as she turned to look at Booth. First she seemed surprised, then for a brief moment anger flashed through her eyes, soon her face got that confused look again as she kept staring at Booth.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

Booth was confused. "I uh…" he cut himself off as he saw the tears that were rolling down Brennan's face. " Hey, I'm so sorry Bones…" he whispered.

Brennan looked at him as if she didn't understand a thing. That's when she realized she was crying. She quickly wiped her eyes. "I'm okay… it's nothing…" she said still confused. "It was just a bad dream…you never answered my question Booth, what are you doing here this early, and in my bed?"

"Bones… yesterday… uh… don't you remember yesterday?"

Brennan stared at him. She had never been able to read people, but the pain in Booth's eyes was clear. And he was looking at her that way, as if he felt sorry for her. Brennan shook her head.

"I was at work, just like any other day, there's nothing special about yesterday. Why would it be Booth? You should leave; I need to get ready for work. I'm late already, Angela must be worried."

Booth wanted to say something, but he couldn't make a sound. What was he supposed to say? He couldn't even move.

"Booth? Why are you looking at me like that? You're scaring me…"

Booth just shook his head, his eyes all watery from unshed tears.

"Oh no…" Brennan gasped. "No…"

Booth nodded and a single tear rolled down his cheek.

"It wasn't a bad dream… it was real," Brennan stated painfully.

Booth made a second nod. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Brennan shook her head, looking down at her lap. She had tried to deny it, she had even thought it had been just a nightmare and when she woke up things were back to normal. But things would never be normal again. Angela was dead.

"I have to go," Brennan got out of bed and ran to the bathroom before Booth could stop her.

Booth didn't know how long he'd been sitting there. But suddenly he heard the bathroom door open and he quickly got up on his feet and stopped her in the living room. Brennan's eyes were swollen and red rimmed from crying.

"Bones…" he started, but Brennan just pushed him away and ran towards the door.

_OoOoOoOoO _

_.TBC._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

_AN/ I know I should be writing at "Can you feel the love tonight" but I'm kind of stuck right now. But I'll think of something soon I promise! _

_So this is the last chapter to this story. Thank you everyone for the wonderful reviews! _

OoOoOoOoO

Booth arrived at the Jeffersonian half an hour later. He walked up to the platform there Hodgins and Zach worked in quiet, which they didn't do that often.

"Hey guys," Booth tried to sound normal, but failed.

The two squints looked up at him.

"Where's Bones?"

Zack made a wave of his hand in the opposite direction. Booth interpreted it as she was in her office and turned to leave.

Hodgins voice stopped him. "It's like she died with Angela… do you think she'll ever get over this?"

Booth wanted to say yes, but he wasn't sure. He shrugged, not bothering to answer. He knew he should be a little polite. At least he could talk to the guy, but right now he didn't care what they'd think about him.

OoOoOoOoO

Booth found Brennan by her desk, staring blankly at the computer screen. He closed the door and took an empty chair and sat down in front of the desk.

Brennan looked up, into his eyes. "I want to be alone."

"Alright, I just wanted to tell you this," Booth started. "I'm sorry for you Temperance, I understand that you're in pain right now, but please don't push me away. I'm your friend and I want to help you… okay? Hey Bones, I'm uh… I'm here for you, we're partners!"

Brennan smiled a little. But her face went serious again. She looked at Booth and shook her head.

"I appreciate that, but I don't need your help. It's over…"

Booth looked at her, puzzled. "What's over?" he asked, not sure he wanted to hear the answer.

Brennan sighed. "This! Us! We can't be partners anymore."

Booth raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to, okay! I want to stay in the lab; I don't want to work with you anymore Booth."

"You're not thinking clearly right now… you…" Booth was cut off.

"Yes! I am, try to look at this rationally, we can't work together anymore, I don't want to see you again Booth, do you understand? Get out of here, now!"

Booth was shocked at her outburst, but didn't want to give up just jet. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't find anything rational about it. He tried to talk, but was once again cut off.

"Get out! Leave me alone and never come back, okay Booth?" Brennan yelled.

Booth got up on his feet. There was nothing more to say. He gave her one last look before he turned to leave. He closed the door behind him, leaning back against it trying to understand what just happened. Booth felt like he could cry, but he forced himself too handle this as a man. He had never felt this empty inside; his heart had never been broken into a million pieces. He had never loved any other woman the way he loved Bones, and she never wanted to see him again?

As he stood there, he noticed Hodgins and Zach stare at him, shocked. Booth was sure they'd heard everything.

Without ever looking back, Booth started to walk, leaving the Jeffersonian and Brennan behind. He hoped it wouldn't be for good, but right now, he wasn't sure of anything. If Bones didn't want to see him again, he'd respect her wishes. If she changed her mind, she'd contact him. If she didn't, he'd live the rest of his life unhappy. With a shattered soul and a broken heart…

OoOoOoOoO

A single tear rolled down her cheek as she watched him leave. She stood there watching until he disappeared out of sight. Then she silently walked back into her office and closed the door behind her.

Brennan had wanted to spare herself another heartache. But when Booth walked out through that door, the little piece of her heart that was still alive went with him, leaving Brennan all cold and empty inside.

She didn't regret pushing Booth away; she knew it was for the best. She could never allow herself to let anyone close, especially not Booth. And he had come way to close already.

Angela had been her best friend, she had trusted her completely. She'd thought she would never leave, but she did and in that moment Brennan promised herself she would never ever let herself feel anything for any living person again. She knew she could never survive another loss in her life.

It didn't matter that Booth was the one she thought of, the one she dreamed about at nights. She didn't care about the fact that she longed for him when he wasn't there, because she couldn't love anyone again.

Her heart desperately wanted him to come back and tell her everything would be alright. She didn't want anything more badly than to be in his comforting arms once again. But her head kept telling her that her broken heart shouldn't be trusted. Without Booth in her life was the safest thing for her. Without anyone that she loved, and without anyone that cared about her, she wasn't only completely alone, she was also sure no one could ever hurt her again. And that was all that mattered in the end.

Brennan looked at the empty chair there Booth had sat. "I'm so sorry Seeley," she whispered, blinking away tears. She'd never meant to hurt him. But she did what she had to do in order to stay alive. She was sure he would get over it, he'd get a new partner, maybe find someone to marry and have another child. Why would he miss her?

She'd just stay in the lab with her bones. Angela was gone and without her best friend, she didn't have a reason to go out. She would never have fun again anyway… Booth was gone to, in another way, and without him, she wouldn't have a reason to leave the lab at all…

Brennan left her office and stopped outside her door. She scanned the surroundings. This was her future. This was where she belonged, with the dead… because without her best friend and Booth there to remind her about the beautiful things in life, she felt more dead than alive…

_If I had to live without you  
__What kinda life would that be?  
__Oh and I, I need you in my arms need you to hold  
__You're my world, my heart, my soul  
__If you ever leave  
__Baby you would take away everything good in my life _

_Without you there'd be no sun in my sky  
__There would be no love in my life  
__There'd be no world left for me  
__And I, baby I don't know what I would do  
__I'd be lost if I lost you  
__If you ever leave  
__Baby, you would take away everything real in my life  
__And tell me now _

_How do I live without you?  
__I want to know  
__How do I breathe without you?  
__If you ever go  
__How do I ever, ever survive?  
__How do I, How do I, Oh How do I live... _

OoOoOoOoO

THE END

_AN/ Sad? Yeah I know. I just felt like doing a 'not so happy' ending for once.  
I hope you liked it anyway!_

_  
The song is called "How do I live" by LeAnn Rimes.  
Listening to it kind of inspired me to write this story_


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